Overcoming The Distance - My Relationship

I am very lucky to have been in a long distance relationship for over 3 years now and there's no sign of us getting rid of each other any time soon. And to answer the first Frequently asked question, how did you two meet? We met over twitter, not to bore you with all the details but I followed him because we liked similar bands, he followed me back, we tweeted each other about the new batman film. A few weeks later I get a message saying "Hey, I'm bored. You seem cool!" And I have been stuck with Kieran ever since. Okay? okay,

 This blog is predominantly written to answer the second most frequently asked question - How are you managing it? Well, It was never easy (and still isn't, really) no relationship is. However, ours had one little extra problem 211.7 miles of distance between us, we were from two different ends of the UK. It's gotten a little cheaper easier to see each other since I've moved to university (No, that is not the main reason I am at this specific university.) but due to studying and work it can still be a little while between seeing each other. So, since my avid followers (Hi, Mum!) know I really like lists. I've compiled a list of tips on how we've made it this far, and for anyone else in our situation because we know it's not easy.

1) Maintain contact

It is so important to talk to each other as much as possible. You don't have to be talking every minute of everyday but something as simple as a text on your work break asking how your other half is, or a quick phone call when you're travelling home from work (NOT IF YOU'RE DRIVING, PEOPLE. The phone call can damn well wait as long as you make it home alive and car in tact.) But realise that even the best people can't talk all the time. Kieran and I have days where we talk loads and some where it could just be a FaceTime before bed but cherish it all because sometimes it's the short and sweet conversations that mean the most. Just take each and every day s it comes.

2) Have adventures

This is a tip for when you're seeing each other again. Now, when I say adventures, I don't necessarily mean Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit. Adventures could be anything; For example, Kieran and I have been to see bands such as Black Stone Cherry, Slipknot, Bullet For My Valentine, there was also the infamous Sonisphere Festival trip of 2014 and our spontaneous decision one slightly drunken saturday afternoon (It was a festival, don't judge me for my alcohol consumption before 12pm 8 in the evening!) To go and see Reel Big Fish. Highly recommend them to anyone who's looking for the funnest gig you will ever go too! Anyway, Sonisphere is a story for another blog post in it's own right.
Now, Where was I? Ah yes, adventures! They can be smaller things too, like this weekend we went Christmas shopping and sat in coffee shops for hours. Just find new places to see together. It doesn't matter if it's the local nature walk, a gig in a pub or somewhere exotic, just go! Make memories!

3) Skype/FaceTime Date nights 

I love these so much. Basically, it's hwere you video call your significant other and watch something together, a crappy TV show or a B rate film like Mega Piranha would suffice! and then you can both talk to each other about what you're watching or do what Kieran and I do, make horrendous puns and terrible jokes about what you're watching.

4) Never go to sleep on an argument

This next couple of tips are quite serious. (Although, knowing me, there will be some kind of bad joke in here somewhere, sorry.) This is an old piece of advice for EVERY relationship.

So, you've had a bad day at work, you come home and discover that the dishes are still in the sink even though your partner has had the day off, a few words are spoken, the wrong tone of voice is used and the whole argument blows up into what happened on July 20th 2012 at 11:30am and there are discussions about who's keeping Aunt Margaret's vase. Well, don't storm off, slam doors and just go to sleep thinking it'll help, it won't. You're better off (IMO) shouting your throat raw and getting everything out, apologising to each other and both getting a good night's sleep knowing that everything's okay, waking up in the morning and your partner may hopefully do the dishes. Anyway, my point is, just get it out the way, say what needs to be said and then you can both work together to improve the situation.

5) Honesty is the best policy

I cannot stress this enough. Although it's never been a major problem in our relationship, Kieran and I have observed many long distance and non-long distance relationships fail because there's just no honesty and subsequently no trust in a relationship and it's so sad because sometimes it's from a build up of little white lies. If you're going to meet someone after work for a coffee, whether your partner likes them or not. Just tell your partner what you're doing, don't make up some awful excuse that you're working late, you'll be caught out and put a pretty major dent in your relationship, not worth it. Simples.


Have I forgotten any tips? Do you have any more questions? Or maybe, just maybe I may have helped you? Even if you hated this article and all my other blog posts feel free to tweet me @RebeccaByTheSea

Or if you want to ask Kieran some questions you can tweet him @Kieran639