Charity Challenge January

Most people's resolutions can be things of self-improvement such as exercising more, losing weight or quitting smoking, which are all amazing things and I send so much love and support to all of you who are going to pursue things likes that  throughout 2016. This year, I have decided to make a resolution to help as many people as possible through the next year, this can stem from  "Acts of Random Kindness" (ARKs), doing charity bag packing and hopefully a 5K run at some point in the year. However, due to
Money being tight for me during the next few months, I will be doing all sorts of weird and wonderful things in a bid to raise money for charity.  So, starting on the 1st of January, I'm not taking on one but TWO challenges. So, here is what I'll be doing for the month of January! Woooo! Yeah!

Challenge number one: Is the Tough n Buff Squat challenge in support of The Children's Society charity. Why have I chosen to do this challenge? Well, it's very close to the sector my Mum works in and a charity which I believe does some fantastic work with vulnerable Children in the UK. In fact on their websites it states that there are currently 3.7 million children in the UK currently living in poverty, and that desperately needs to be tackled and it won't be cheap, so if I can raise just £50 towards this charity, I will be ecstatic. So I'll be doing 2,400 squats in 30 days to raise that money. At the moment thanks to a very generous anonymous donation, there's only £30 to go until I reach that target. That's 10 people donating just £3! If you wish to donate or join in yourself then please follow these links, you beautiful people. (Am I flattering you enough to donate some
Money yet, or?)

To donate - https://www.justgiving.com/Rebecca-Goodwin9/

To sign up and do your own challenge - http://toughnbuff.childrenssociety.org.uk


Challenge number two: Is the Dryathlon in aid of Cancer Research UK. This is a charity so close to my heart for two very prominent reasons. This isn't just to give me a New Years resolution. As many know, in 2010 my mum was diagnosed with Breast Cancer, in 2014 my Gran was diagnosed with Bowel Cancer. My mum is a survivor and warrior for what she's been through! So me giving up drinking and hangovers for a month is nothing compared to the pain she endured through chemotherapy and radiotherapy. My Gran is one of the most wonderful angels in heaven now but I know she'd be proud of me for taking on and eventually completing the  Dryathlon. If you want to do this then follow the sign up link below but if you want to sign up but maybe don't feel quite able to do it enough on your own and want some support then I am more than happy to start a team with someone so we can raise money together to kick cancer's backside! Because it has affected and taken away too many people now. You really are a gorgeous reader and I really, really think you should put your hand in your pockets, count up your coppers and see how much you can donate, a little will go a really long way on the road to £150!

To donate - https://www.justgiving.com/Rebecca-Goodwin-dryathlete20162015

To sign up - http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/support-us/find-an-event/charity-challenges/dryathlon

In addition to raising some money for two absolutely amazing charities, I will be getting stronger legs and a bit fitter if I combine it with some cardio, I can't wait for the weather to start lightening up so I can do my power walks! And my body shall be relatively toxin free from giving up whiskey and cider but as I said, compared to what cancer patients go through, it's nothing. I'm hoping I could stretch the no alcohol rule for longer than a month because, well, drinking isn't really the best thing for me because a heavy night out can put me out of action for about 5 days, I'm certainly no ordinary 20 year old.

Whatever you're doing this lovely New Years Eve, I hope you have a magical one. I wish you all the very best of health and happiness through the next year. I can't wait to see what the next year holds for me and my family but whatever's happening, I will be most certainly blogging about it!

"Nothing tastes better than how skinny feels" Well, Doughnuts do...

Well, my titles seem to be getting a little more witty. Even if I do
say so myself. All joking aside I wanted to talk about a not so pretty part of my life in this blog post as I finally feel comfortable enough to discuss it. Remember how i
n one of my previous blog posst I spoke about how I went from 13st to 9st 7 and there was pretty dark period in between that journey? Well, today, I'm centering in on that dark period.

Flash back here to Summer 2013, I had just finished my AS levels at sixth form and after many years of bullying about my weight and my size. I had decided I had had enough of looking in the mirror everyday and hating what I saw. especially after this picture was taken at a Pierce the Veil concert. I was literally disgusted with the size I had gotten too. I knew many
 years of stress eating, emotional eating and binge eating had caused it. I probably ate somewhere in the region of 4,000 calories a day, most of which I probably did in a single sitting. So what did I do about it? A few days after this picture was taken I stepped on a scale for the first time in a few years and read the dreaded 13st that flashed up on the screen. So after a few google searches on weight loss tips, I downloaded the app myfitnesspal and began counting my calories, eating around 1,200 calories a day and going on walks round the park. Over a few months my weight dropped to a decent 10st 10lbs and I remember plateauing at that weight for quite a while, I had also joined a gym at that point but had no real idea on what I was doing most of the time, haha!


But, this was the point where, in hindsight, I noticed something was wrong with me, I became obsessive over the amount of calories in certain foods, and became obsessed with the idea of clean eating and anything that wasn't a vegetable, fruit, nut or a piece of meat was practically toxic to my body! I remember nearly crying over my mum's home cooked food (Sorry, Mum!) because it had breadcrumbs on it or something ridiculous.healing. I know I'm using humor here to cover up how bad things really got, I would be killing myself on cardio machines in the gym, eating around 600 calories of food a day, I remember fainting a couple of times because of it. But, I was happy, for the first time in my life people were calling my skinny, thin and usually the word beautiful or pretty would be combined with it, even those that used to bully me for my weight were asking my how I did it. Truth be told, I was developing an eating disorder, people don't like me using that term because I was never formally diagnosed or admitted into hospital, my BMI was still in a healthy range but the way my mind worked was that of someone with anorexia, my only focus in life were food (and how little I could get away with eating) and losing more weight but no matter how much I lost I was still "fat" and I never felt good enough. Within the period of a month, I dropped 17lbs and weighed 9st 7, during this time I had also undergone leg surgery and my bones just weren't getting enough nutrients to heal so it was a very long process of healing.

I can't actually find any suitable pictures (at the moment) of me at the time but I know there are a few floating around on Facebook. I removed most of them because I realised, I looked ill, I looked grey and I looked terribly gaunt in the face. I claimed that I was healthy and fit, in reality, I was just under eating and over exercising. Not a good balance. Flashing forward too today... Literally today. This next pictureI weighed myself this morning, I weigh 11st 3 and still fit into size 10/12 clothes, when I was at 13st I was wearing size 18 clothes and at 9st 7 I was wearing 8/10 clothes but in all honesty, I don't care about the label on my clothes. I lift weights a few times a week, might do some cardio and conditioning if I'm in the mood, I eat when I feel hungry, I just try and get a high protein diet but for once in my life - I AM HAPPY! Just all round happy, I'm finally at peace with my body. I love it and what it can do, it can pull it's own body weight off the floor and squat it too. It it strong and wonderful. Plus, I can eat as many doughnuts as I like (in moderation of course ;) ), hence the title.

 I wanted to make this part of my life known. Not for praise, pride or recognition, but to let people know that they're not alone and you can gets yourself out of dark places like this, you can over come an eating disorder, I was lucky that I had the best family and friends ever to get me through it but there are so many organisations out there that are ready and willing to help you. And to anyone reading this, please don't hesitate to message me and I'm always here for anyone that reads these blogs.

My Work Ethic (And Why It Is What It Is Today...)

I've been asked quite a few times at univeristy now about my work ethic, how I've been able to maintain it and why my life is ruled by it so much. Just let me get one thing clear before I go on, my average day consists of normally around 4 hours of addtional study, more on the weekends. And although to some of you reading this might think "Rebecca! That's wonderful, why are you moaning about it!" Well, It's both one of my best and worst attributes, a double-edged sword, if you will.

So to begin, like every essay I ever wrote in Geography it is firstly important to define what is meant by the term "work ethic:" The Free Dictionary defines Work Ethic as "An ethical principle that places greatest value on hard work and diligence." So there we go, that's a pretty accurate representation of what my work ethic is, I believe that hard work and dilligence is what will get me somewhere in life. (However, that's on the premise that meritocraty is a real thing.) but sociolkogy aside, let's talk about why it's become something I put so much value on.

There are 3 incidences in my life that I can remember which caused me to develop this work ethic.Yes, people, it's time for another list.):

1) My Science Classes of 2007:

Ah, 2007, the year I started secondary school, although I wasn't particularly fond of my early secondary school years, my final two were absolutely fantastic (exams aside.) But in 2007 I began the KS3 Science curriculum, the basics, such as photosynthesis, respiration and how to cope with a teacher bullying you. Yes, I was bullied by a teacher, it does happen. Now, I knew from about the age of 9 I was going to pursue marine biology in my life and so therefore knew I had to do well in my sciences to get to where I wanted to be. This teacher decided to make snide remarks to me every lesson about how my work wasn't neat enough or my notes weren't up to scratch and then one day he told me that if I don't buck my ideas up, I'll never surmount to anything. If anyone here has graced eyes on my old school reports then it'll tell you that although my grades were mediocre in some areas, in others I excelled, such as in Geography, Science or R.S, so to hear a teacher tell me I would never amount to anything upset me so much (I was also 11 at the time.) I decided to prove himwrong, I spent hours preparing for tests and kept doing well, it was never good enough for that teacher and therefore it was never good enough to me, so that was the beginning of my work ethic and diminshed self-esteem.

2) GCSEs Results Day:

Flash forward to 2012, It was a warm day in August and I had just come back from Canada, ready to start my A levels in Biology, Geography, Sociology and Philosophy. But alas, I had only gotten a C in my double science GCSE (I had missed the grade by 3 marks.) and  I needed a B to my A level in biology. Instantly I shunned all my other results which had been fairly good for someone who had spent a few months wheelchair bound or in hospital. But in my mind I had yet again, worked my hardest and my grades just weren't good enough, another hit to my self-esteem. Also, doesn't help that I have probably picked up a perfectionist trait from my Dad (Love you though, Dad.)

3) The very start of sixth form:

I made a decision in Year 11 not to go to the local college (because the biology tutor said I'd never be able to do biology in a month of Sundays because my Maths grade wasn't high enough (it was a C) , proved her wrong.) But instead I went to a sixth form a train journey away because I wanted a fresh break and they were happy with my maths results. Of course, my GCSE grades weren't high enough to do Biology and I begged and pleaded the head of sixth form to give me a chance, he was having none of it, I was an outsider, he knew nothing about my background and wasn't going to risk the sixth form ratings. and the was the biggest kick up the arse of my life he told me "Change my dream, go and do an English A level instead, you were good at that at GCSE" You can imagine how that went down. So I set out to prove him wrong, the heads of biology gave me a chance, he allowed me to do one year of an applied science A Level and if I got a C or above he would let me do Bioogy, I did it, I got a B, and I did my biology A level.

So as you can see there have been a string of people throughout my life who have told me I would never make it nor would I ever succeed if I did. Admittedly, those who believed in me and supported me far outweigh those few who doubted me. That's why it rules my life, why I will do so many hours studying, why I will put so much pressure on myself to be the bets I can be because poeple have told me reaptedly at different stages of my life that I will never make it, so to complete my degree and to do so well, will finally put me at some peace. (I will also be scanning my final degree results and posting them to those people above.)

Now, as I said this work ethic is both a blessing and a curse. LEt's put this in a normal sceanrio, you've done some studying, maybe finished an essay or a piece of coursework and you go on a night out or go to the gym, or just do something fun that relaxes you, you enjoy it, you go to bed and feel great about yourself. That's not how it works for me, I will often bail on social activities for my studies because of the sheer amount of guilt I will feel for going out and the amount of anxiety I will feel the next day about missing those hours of studying. Trust me, It's not pleasant and it's not pretty.

Have a problem or have any questions then please tweet me @RebeccaByTheSea or comment below and I'll see what I can do. and congratulatiuons, you've made it to the end of this blog post. Gold Star for you! 

Rebecca's 12 days of FITMAS...

I have been mulling over this idea for a little while now but I've come to conclusion, in order to reach my fitness goal for the next few months (see blog post about my goals here.) I'm going to give myself  a kick start programme. THE 12 DAYS OF FITMAS. Ta daaaah. There are many different versions of the 12 days of fitmas (So, I'm not taking credit for the name, at all.) but this is mine, so allow me to lay out why I'm doing it and what I'm going to do. Oooooh, look another list, what a surprise.



1) Why am I doing it?

Well, to put it bluntly I've become really lazy with cardio since I started my bulk 2 years ago and I've been slacking form most training since I've been at university, purely because I've been dedicating most of my time to my studies and the rest to keeping some form of social life to prevent me from going completely insane. So, I felt as the Christmas period approaches I should earn my Christmas dinner and all the extra pigs in blankets I'm going to be eating by setting myself this 12 days of Christmas challenge.



2) When am I doing it?

It won't start exactly 12 days before Christmas or even the 12 days of Christmas. Before anyone thinks I am incapable of being able to manage dates. This is because of my studies and some days at uni I won't be able to go to the gym, studies come first. I've also got a tonne of deadlines due by the 17th December, so I have balance them too.What I'm intending on doing is 12 days of activity in the Christmas period (Until 31st December.)



3) What the heck am I actually going to do?

 I must confess I have already done two days of Fitmas, I've been doing some Yoga for Strength workouts from fitness blender (Click here for video) to ease myself into getting into a routine, so my plans for the next 10 days are to increase my intensity of exercise and thus level of fitness slowly but surely. This is going to be through mainly a Cardio based plan because otherwise I'm just going to avoid it like the plague for the rest of my life and ended up gaining a lot of weight back again. And that would be bad, as I simply cannot afford a whole new wardrobe.



4) So what is this plan you speak of?

Well, since I cannot reveal my plan's for eventual world domination, I guess I can put up my plan for the next 10 days of workouts.

Sunday 6th December - 30 minutes Cardio, abs and arms.

Monday 7th December - Yoga for strength and flexibility, plus 20 minutes Cardio. (Check in)

Tuesday 8th December - 30 minutes Cardio, legs and calves

Wednesday 9th December - Off to York with friends so the walking will be my workout for that day.

Thursday 10th December - 35 minutes Cardio, abs and arms (With more reps/sets)

Friday 11th December - Yoga for strength and flexibility, plus abs and 25 minutes Cardio

Saturday 12th December - 35 minutes Cardio, legs and calves

Sunday 13th December - 40 minutes Cardio

Monday 14th December - 40 minutes Cardio, abs and arms (More weight)

Tuesday 15th December - Yoga for strength and flexibility, plus abs and and 30 minutes Cardio

Wednesday 16th December - 40 minutes Cardio, legs and calves (Final check in)



In terms of nutrition, I will be calorie counting using the myfitnesspal app, I will be taking in around 1,750 calories a day and trying to eat as healthy as possible but being a starving student who's semi-catered, I'm just going to have to see how it goes.

If I do what I feel was a good workout I will make a blog post about it and tell you all what I did that day, whether you like it or not. My Check ins will include weigh ins an progress pictures (If I feel comfortable enough to post them, that is.) If I skip a day, I will simply just do it the next but this will all be completed by December 31st 2015.

Fin.

Overcoming The Distance - My Relationship

I am very lucky to have been in a long distance relationship for over 3 years now and there's no sign of us getting rid of each other any time soon. And to answer the first Frequently asked question, how did you two meet? We met over twitter, not to bore you with all the details but I followed him because we liked similar bands, he followed me back, we tweeted each other about the new batman film. A few weeks later I get a message saying "Hey, I'm bored. You seem cool!" And I have been stuck with Kieran ever since. Okay? okay,

 This blog is predominantly written to answer the second most frequently asked question - How are you managing it? Well, It was never easy (and still isn't, really) no relationship is. However, ours had one little extra problem 211.7 miles of distance between us, we were from two different ends of the UK. It's gotten a little cheaper easier to see each other since I've moved to university (No, that is not the main reason I am at this specific university.) but due to studying and work it can still be a little while between seeing each other. So, since my avid followers (Hi, Mum!) know I really like lists. I've compiled a list of tips on how we've made it this far, and for anyone else in our situation because we know it's not easy.

1) Maintain contact

It is so important to talk to each other as much as possible. You don't have to be talking every minute of everyday but something as simple as a text on your work break asking how your other half is, or a quick phone call when you're travelling home from work (NOT IF YOU'RE DRIVING, PEOPLE. The phone call can damn well wait as long as you make it home alive and car in tact.) But realise that even the best people can't talk all the time. Kieran and I have days where we talk loads and some where it could just be a FaceTime before bed but cherish it all because sometimes it's the short and sweet conversations that mean the most. Just take each and every day s it comes.

2) Have adventures

This is a tip for when you're seeing each other again. Now, when I say adventures, I don't necessarily mean Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit. Adventures could be anything; For example, Kieran and I have been to see bands such as Black Stone Cherry, Slipknot, Bullet For My Valentine, there was also the infamous Sonisphere Festival trip of 2014 and our spontaneous decision one slightly drunken saturday afternoon (It was a festival, don't judge me for my alcohol consumption before 12pm 8 in the evening!) To go and see Reel Big Fish. Highly recommend them to anyone who's looking for the funnest gig you will ever go too! Anyway, Sonisphere is a story for another blog post in it's own right.
Now, Where was I? Ah yes, adventures! They can be smaller things too, like this weekend we went Christmas shopping and sat in coffee shops for hours. Just find new places to see together. It doesn't matter if it's the local nature walk, a gig in a pub or somewhere exotic, just go! Make memories!

3) Skype/FaceTime Date nights 

I love these so much. Basically, it's hwere you video call your significant other and watch something together, a crappy TV show or a B rate film like Mega Piranha would suffice! and then you can both talk to each other about what you're watching or do what Kieran and I do, make horrendous puns and terrible jokes about what you're watching.

4) Never go to sleep on an argument

This next couple of tips are quite serious. (Although, knowing me, there will be some kind of bad joke in here somewhere, sorry.) This is an old piece of advice for EVERY relationship.

So, you've had a bad day at work, you come home and discover that the dishes are still in the sink even though your partner has had the day off, a few words are spoken, the wrong tone of voice is used and the whole argument blows up into what happened on July 20th 2012 at 11:30am and there are discussions about who's keeping Aunt Margaret's vase. Well, don't storm off, slam doors and just go to sleep thinking it'll help, it won't. You're better off (IMO) shouting your throat raw and getting everything out, apologising to each other and both getting a good night's sleep knowing that everything's okay, waking up in the morning and your partner may hopefully do the dishes. Anyway, my point is, just get it out the way, say what needs to be said and then you can both work together to improve the situation.

5) Honesty is the best policy

I cannot stress this enough. Although it's never been a major problem in our relationship, Kieran and I have observed many long distance and non-long distance relationships fail because there's just no honesty and subsequently no trust in a relationship and it's so sad because sometimes it's from a build up of little white lies. If you're going to meet someone after work for a coffee, whether your partner likes them or not. Just tell your partner what you're doing, don't make up some awful excuse that you're working late, you'll be caught out and put a pretty major dent in your relationship, not worth it. Simples.


Have I forgotten any tips? Do you have any more questions? Or maybe, just maybe I may have helped you? Even if you hated this article and all my other blog posts feel free to tweet me @RebeccaByTheSea

Or if you want to ask Kieran some questions you can tweet him @Kieran639

How a Job In Retail Changed My Life (Predominantly For The Better)

Anxiety has ruled most aspects of my life since a very young age and has affected me in even the most simplistic of tasks. One of my biggest fears until about a few years ago was paying for things in shops. I know, stupid, right? I literally would freak out about not having enough money (even though I counted it at least 1200 times) and predominantly what the cashier was thinking about me, like they were telepathic or something. I cringe now thinking back about the amount of nice clothes and yummy food I missed out on all because I was too scared to go to a till. (It did save me a lot of money though...)

This all changed one fateful day in the Summer of 2014. I had just finished my second year of A levels and decided that in order to get some money together for university I would have to get a job. So, after applying for 50+ jobs and being repeatedly turned down because I had no experience (although I had volunteered for various things numerous times through my school years.) I finally got a phone call from a well known UK and US based supermarket offering me an interview. I was ecstatic, someone was finally giving me a chance! Then it hit me.. I actually had to go into a room with people I didn't know and answer their questioning, oh dear. To anyone out there who's worried about interviews or falls apart in them, I recommend acting. Seriously, it sounds silly but the way I got through my interview was to envision myself as a more confident character and step into the role of confident me, not cocky or arrogant but just quietly confident.

So, I arrived to my interview in the smartest clothes I could find and smiled, smiled at everyone I met because even though I was a bag of nerves, I at least looked happy to be there. It transpired I was to have a group interview, I had some mixed feeling about this at the time but in hindsight, it was so much easier than 1-1. We were put into a random group of 4 and did some presentations, all whilst being watched to see how we interacted. So my acting idea worked pretty well, I even had an audience.

It turns out the interview went well and within a few hours I had a call back - There was just ONE problem, the department that wanted me was checkouts, I was to become the cashier I was so afraid of. I then started worrying about what the customers thought of me, would they get angry at me if I was slow? or I got their change wrong? Being dyslexic as well, I knew I would struggle with trying to learn how the till worked but I needed the money badly, so I agreed to it.

A few weeks went on, I did my health and safety training and then I was ready to begin my first shift. I started with shadowing a very kind woman who, as it turned out,  actually only lived down the road from me! She showed me how to scan items and weigh them and how to use the codes to type things in, it was immensely hard and fast-paced - and I can even remember cringing as I Id'd a man who turned out to be 30! (whoops.) and  I gave out the wrong change more than once. I actually went home and cried after that shift thinking I would never be good at it, I was planning on handing my notice in when  I could.

Luckily, as time went on, I got more confident, my anxiety started to dissipate, I even made some amazing friends whilst I was working there. yes, I still give out the wrong change occasionally, upset a few customers who I had to ID (they were the ones who didn't have ID and stormed off in a huff.) but this whole experience made me feel so much more at ease with the world and helped my anxiety more than most therapies. It can still be hard on bad days to get through my shifts but I have a fantastic group of co-workers and a great people's manager who help me through. If you're reading this and are currently looking for a job or still having a few teething problems in overcoming work anxiety, just don't give up, it does get better and easier the more you learn and adapt your coping mechanisms. If it does get really bad then talk to your manager, funnily enough, they're pretty good people too and can be very understanding of the situation. Just keep on trucking and of course, just think of payday! ;)

I'm thoroughly looking forward to going back to work over Christmas but my thoughts are with everyone working in retail over black Friday and these busy pre-Christmas months,. I salute you!

"Set Goals... And Then Smash 'em" My plans for the next few months

Looks like I'm going on a bit of a blogging rampage at the moment but I've learnt that the best way to smash my goals is to publicize them. So what better platform than a blog that can be seen by anyone and everyone, lovely, no pressure there. These goals will be a mixture of fitness, self-care, academia, work and travel based goals. Almost like world's earliest set of New Years resolutions! Every couple of weeks I'll write a review post on how I'm doing in terms of achieving these goals.

And as we all have hopefully learnt from my previous blog posts, I quite like lists. So, here's another!

1) To get back into my fitness grind -

This goal is probably the simplest (supposedly) on my list. Back in 2013 I made the decision to try and lose weight and I am pleased to say I have been successful in doing so, I went from 13st (on a 5"4 frame) and a size 18 to currently 10st 8 and a size 10 (And yes, I am still as short as I was before. Booo!) I may, if there's demand for it, post how I lost weight. (Please, remember, I am not a dietitian, a personal trainer or anything of the like, so what worked for me, may not work for everyone.) Unfortunately, there was a very bleak time whilst I was doing this where I dropped to a little below 9st 7 in a very unhealthy way by restricting and spending hours on cardio machines. But, power-lifting and weight training saved my life, I met one of the best non-coach, coaches in the world who taught me to love drop sets and super sets, shout out to you! I just really want to get back into it. At the moment I'm only going at most 1-2x a week, so I want to challenge myself to 3-4x a week, even if it's only 30 minutes on a treadmill. (Sorry, coach!)

2) Attempt to get a 1st (Or at least the closest to a 1st I can get)

I'm waiting for the cries from my family and close friends as they read this - "No, Rebecca, no! don't put too much pressure on yourself, first year doesn't count!" Well, to me, it does and it would be a monumental confidence boost for when I go into my 2nd year and to me, it becomes a motivational factor. I may cry, scream and have to rely on my neighboring flat mate to come and rescue me occasionally but I'll get there, watch me. (Ooooh, fighting talk...)

3) Complete my diving internship and become a dive master -

This is going to be my major achievement of 2016, In the July I'll be flying out to Gran Canaria to work for Scuba Sur (one of the best diving schools on the island, just saying) in exchange for them giving me all the appropriate training and resources to become a dive master. Better start brushing up on some Spanish then. How do you ask where the bar is in Spanish?

4) Meditate more -

This is the self-care aspect, for a brief period of time I would try and meditate once a week better it soon disappeared when the workload starting piling up. Which is a shame really, it probably would've helped me with my anxiety and stress, I intend on trying to meditate or listen to my hypnotherapy for 10 minutes every 2 weeks, hopefully, increasing the frequency of these 10 minute sessions as time goes on and I work them into my schedule.

5) Look after number 1 -

This might sound like one of the most selfish comments you will ever come across on my blog but I can be immensely hard on myself, I beat myself up for getting two A*s, an A and a C at A level because of that ONE C grade, in hindsight now I think I did pretty damn well. but I want to try and stop that and be a bit more self-forgiving, there's more to life than just my grades and my work performance, I know but it's just how my mind is programmed I suppose.

Generalised Anxiety Disorder, University and How I'm Coping... (#breakthesilence)

This is a subject close to my heart and always will be. I have suffered with Generalised Anxiety Disorder on a low level all my life but 6 years ago it got significantly worse. I've been coping with it day in and day out ever since, I also had a period in my life where I suffered with PTSD in addition but I think that's gotten much better thanks to a wonderful counsellor I was assigned in Secondary school, I just wish I could remember her name.

Just as a quick update: I have successfully survived freshers week with my liver and dignity in tact and I've currently got my nose to the grind preparing for my 1st semester exams (Hence lack of posts, sorry guys.)

Anyway, on with the post. It's scary to move from home, away from your comfort zone of friends and family and then be hit by "hey, here's all this work you have to do!" In fact, it's not even scary, it's bloody terrifying. And I know anxiety and depression can exacerbate the situation (Or even be caused by this situation). So I've compiled a short list of tips that have helped me stay calm (kind of) in the last several weeks. I know anxiety and depression are becoming more and more commonly diagnosed within the population and there's still a huge amount of stigma around it. So, If this article helps just one person, I've done my job. (I am a major supporter of the break the silence campaign, if you or someone you know suffers with any form of mental illness, for the love of everything, talk to eachother, look after eachother and more importantly, love eachother)

Now here - have a list:


1) Organisation

This is predominantly a work based tip but at the end of every week I put all my notes into files, do my laundry for the week, plan my week as much as I can and most importantly make sure my room is tidy. (I'm pretty sure My mum is more proud of this than my actual degree... Love you really, mum.) it's this process that really helps me get my mind clear and ready for the next week ahead.

2) Live in the moment

I know it's slightly contradictory to my last post about planning my week but please, read on and I shall explain all - I try and stop myself from worrying about things that haven't happened yet or that might never even happen, like my upcoming exams in December and January (Unfortunately, they are really happening). A little bit of worry is natural but allowing these things to cloud my mind too much can really destroy me; it stops me from dealing with my current problems. In other words, it stops me biting off more than I can chew. I will probably write a further blog post about my grounding techniques and how progressive muscle relaxation and hypnotherapy saved me from (further) insanity.

3) MOVE YOUR KEISTER, MEISTER!

I try and go to the gym where I can, this empties my mind completely. If you know me, you know I love Dana Linn Bailey and I love weightlifting. When I get really stressed I say "Bugger it all!" Scoff a banana and go and throw some iron around.
However, I recommend exercise to anyone and everyone, it can be anything! Just a short walk can help, it gets you away from the study desk and helps lift your mood completely!
4) Just stop, stop right there.
This is a bit of a sub-point from the last one but when things get too much and you get what my Dad affectionately calls "brain fuddle" just step away from whatever situation you're in that's causing the fuddle and do something else, call a friend, write a poem, write a blog, anything that will make you feel better and put your mind at ease. and remember, IT'S OKAY TO RELAX.


5) Call home

Because I'm probably coolest uncool person you've ever met, I love to talk to my parents on a night. It doesn't have to be everyday but talking to the people you love and unloading all your emotional baggage can really help.

6) Student services

I am yet to do this but I know in my university they have a fantastic team of people ready to help you with anything, even if you just want some sympathy and a chat. Major shout out here to the Mental Healthy Awareness Society for breaking the stigma here in Hull! 

Of course, this is just what helps me, you may have other means of coping. I know too well that sometimes they aren't always constructive and if you are struggling, I am willing to help anyone. (Pop me a message if you wish.) but go to your best friend, your GP, your student services and talk it out or for those like me how get very nervous talking to people about mental health - there's a wonderful little app called "7 cups of tea" where anonymous listeners are waiting to help you with anything. This app also provides 3 minutes of meditation and various other things to encourage the development of a more positive outlook.

Keep smiling, it will all be okay, I promise.

(Image sourced from: http://new.bsescampaign.com/ I do not claim it to be my own and I give full credit to the creators. In fact, I give a lot of credit t0 the creators for the project they're running. Thank you.)

Tea for 2... Or 20 (and the rest)

Hope you all had a lovely weekend. Now, I know I said I wouldn't post until after I had moved into halls and had survived freshers week with most of my liver intact. However, you wonderful people are about to receive a double dose because I had an a rather interesting Sunday afternoon. Now, don't ever say I don't treat you well.

So, my Sunday was going how it usually would. Waking up gracefully to the sound of birds tweeting at 6am *Ahem*  Falling out of bed with only 45 minutes to get ready for church, flying through the shower and throwing some clothes on to get out the door. The church service was wonderful (many thanks to Peter for leading it!) I knew that that afternoon I couldn't stay long for coffee after the service because we were expecting my aunts, uncles and cousins to be arriving for tea and cake and come 3pm, they turned up... But so did my brother and his family, okay, there was my mum's cake to eat so I could see the attraction; then my godmother, my godfather and his family, friends from church, my childhood best friend. And then it hit me. I was stood in my own surprise leaving party.



Oh My...




It transpires my Mum had managed to work out how to "do that thing on Facebook to make a private group." and had invited all of these magnificent people for tea, cake, wine, sandwiches, quiche and other nibbles. And for that; I can't thank her enough, I couldn't think of a more perfect afternoon and send off with my family and friends. My mum isn't just my mother, she's my best friend. So mum, here's to you*raises mug of green tea*

And if you're a guest who came and you're reading this, thank you, thank you for coming, thank you for supporting me, motivating me and inspiring me over all of these years, I couldn't of gotten this far without you. And thank you for the gifts and freshers survival kits, God knows I'm going to need them!

New Beginnings

I wish I could've thought of a better title. But I can't. What a wonderful start to my first ever blog post! *fanfares*  Instead I have given you all a false sense of anticipation that I'm about to tell you all about some new chapter in my life. Well, to an extent, it is a new chapter in my life - one I am both very excited and very very apprehensive about. I'm moving away from home to start university, to start the most awesome course ever! Hello fellow Marine Biology students, I'm new to this club but can we have t-shirts?! Please? No? Well, okay then. Moving on...

As I said before, I'm very excited to start because everything's new, the people I've met and got to know so far are amazing, not to mention this is the course of my dreams! However, I have one small problem. And that's my anxiety. My anxiety, or morph as he's known (more on that in a future post.) is the whole reason I have created this blog; it's to act not only as an outlet for myself, you will see all of my highs and lows as I go on my adventure into the big wide world of academics. But, this is also to show others that you are not alone. Ever. And if I can help just one person, then it's worth it.

Due to my anxiety, I also really like making lists and getting myself into routine and order so here is a list of things that I'm scared about:

1) Failing my course. This is MAJOR for me. I am petrified of not being good enough and not being able to cope with a degree.

2) Not making friends. (Or everyone hating me. I'm a bit like marmite.)

3) You all now remembering this post as being written by "The marmite lady."

4) Missing home. I am a homebody, I don't like going out if I know all my family are home because my parents are my best friends and I laugh so much when I'm with them. They're amazing, true gems. Not to mention I'm leaving my best friend in the entire world behind, I honestly don't know how to cope very well without her.

5) Getting lost in a new city

6) Being a disappointment. This ties in with the first but my circle are all so proud of me and I don't want to let them down at all.

I can't think of anymore to put here but reflecting on them I know they're all either completely normal or completely irrational and I will cope and I will work this out. In addition to this blog being about student life with anxiety, it will also follow my love of quirky coffee shops, terrible B rate films, studyspo, tips and tricks to get by on a student budget and cooking in a student kitchen. Hopefully. Providing I don't get spent out and begin to starve in the first week. See you all again on moving in day!