On The Road to Positive Living: How to Love Yourself:

Well, okay, I know the title sounds a little over promising and not only that, but it's probably also another thing where my Dad is probably shouting in the background "You tree-hugging Hippie!" In fact, that's what I might just rename this series the "Tree-hugging hippie" series, I don't think that would go down too well though... Anyway, you might be wondering why I've chosen to write about loving one's self? Because this is something we all struggle with, myself included but over the last few months I have begun to accept myself for who I am, you have read my previous blog post about my struggles with extreme weight loss and now trying to reach a happy balance of a healthy lifestyle and not losing my sanity. Re-adjusting to a bigger body has been really hard from me, resulting in me stealing owning quite a Few of Kieran's clothes for my bad day's where I cannot stand my reflection and need to hide my body. So as you can probably tell; my self-esteem isn't exactly glowing. It's picking up a lot more and the bad body image days are getting less frequent and easier to deal with. So, yet again, my dear readers, I shall present you with one "Rebecca Special".... More commonly known as a list... Yep... (There's a very high number of ellipsis in this blog, I do apologise if that irritates anyone!)

1) Good things come in 3s

This actually stems from an exercise I was given by two of the most wonderful teachers I have ever met (Go Gill and Howard!) When my Mother was going through breast cancer I became very withdrawn, upset and angry with the world. This led to me one day having a break down in the music department's office, to try and make me feel a bit more positive about what was going on in my life they told me that every night before I go to bed to list 3 things about that day that had been positive. It was really difficult in the beginning, I'm not going to lie there. Only being able to pick out maybe one or two good things in the first few weeks. But as time went on it got easier and I was starting to see the world in a more positive way, it wasn't against me at all! (I feel some of this I need to save for a different post so I'll hush with the side track story here!) The same idea can be applied to your appearance, every morning or every evening, or both if you wish. Take your make-up off, wash your face and look at yourself in the mirror, truly look at yourself. Pick out three good things you can see, like the sparkle in your eyes, your soft hair or your freckles. Over time you'll find it easier to find more positive things about you! Because truly YOU are BEAUTIFUL.

2) Hey there good lookin'

Following on form the picking out 3 things about yourself idea. It's time for some positive affirmations! (If you don't ooooh at that moment like a panto audience, re-read the line and oooh, please. I'd find it quite amusing.) After you've done your 3 amazing things about yourself, stand there and tell yourself (OUT LOUD!) that you are beautiful, you are amazing, you are simply unique. This creates a positive connection in your brain so that whenever you look at yourself in the mirror, it will think, ahh, it's that gorgeous person again! Pretty cool, right?

3) Stop Comparing Yourself to others!

I know this is perhaps the hardest part. It really is, the best example I can give is one I still struggle with today. I can walk into any gym and feel completely inadequate because there are girls skinnier than me, stronger than me, prettier than me and in my all round better than me and it's a very damaging mindset to have. But what's helped me fight this is being able to rationalise these thoughts. At the end of the day (Now it sounds like an episode of Jeremy Kyle, what a great way to lower the tone of my blog!) You don't know what's going on in those people's lives, the girl who's skinnier than you could have a thyroid problem and is desperately trying to put weight on! The girl who's prettier than you may never see that, for all you know she could be looking at you and feeling the same way. You don't know the ins and outs of people's lives, their triumphs and failures. You just have to focus on being you, set yourself your own goals and be realistic about them, don't say, I'm going to get into competition shape when in reality you don't actually have the time or the financial capabilities at the time to do that, instead, say you're going to become fitter than you were last month. Put the blinkers on when you've established these goals and don't compare someone else's successes to yours because you are doing the best YOU can! And you should be proud.

4) Do more things you enjoy

The happier you are, the better about yourself you will feel. So get out there, or stay in but whatever you are doing make sure that it is making you feel happy. If you like knitting then knit away! If you like swimming, then go swimming every week. Just find something you enjoy because when you're at peace with the life you're living, you'll be at peace with yourself too.

5) Be proud of you and your work!

Whenever you do something awesome, like get an A in a test, don't beat yourself up by saying it was a fluke or saying it's not worth anything because it wasn't an A+, tell yourself that you're awesome and do something special for it, whether it's binge watching a series on Netflix, going for a nice meal or even just letting yourself relax for one hour. BE PROUD! I know for me, this is one of my main struggles after years and years of having to meet the expectations of others and just missing the majority of the time, it's very hard to accept when I've done something well, this is one of those situations to stop comparing yourself to other people too. I'm a dyslexic with dyspraxia and dyscalcula and I always wanted to be great at Maths, all my friends were A/A* students and I was just scraping Cs. One teacher saw how hard I was trying and he and his wife as my maths tutor, gave me the resources and to try at a higher maths exam, they didn't care what grade I came out with, they just wanted to give me the opportunity, in the end we settled on aiming for a B grade. And although I didn't get that grade overall, I got a solid B in that higher maths paper and I've always been proud of it! But of course, don't ever let any learning disability or otherwise stop you from achieving your goals, be determined but set realistic goals and then don't ever let go of them.

If this blog has helped you then please share, comment or like it. If you hated it well, I hope your mother taught you that if you can't say anything nice, then don't say it at all.

Please don't hesitate to contact me via Twitter @RebeccaByTheSea or by E-mail rebecca.j.a.goodwin@gmail.com. Have a great day!